Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Which one are you?

You know that quiz: which Sex And The City girl are you? (I’m an uptight Miranda, but like all women I wish I was Carrie). So while I’m on the subway, it occurs to me: you can imagine just about anyone you look at as a Muppet character. Which one are you? Tonight I had one of the old codgers from the theater box sitting opposite me – you know, crazy hair all standing on end and a nose that curves down to meet his lips?

I wondered to myself, would I be offering a much appreciated service if I discreetly pulled strangers aside and advised them on how to look less like a Muppet? For example: "Have you thought about combing your hair to the side instead of straight up exposing your largish ears?" "Excuse me Miss, more lipstick to detract from your forehead?" "Perhaps if you stopped humming mana-mana do do do do do when you’re in public…?"

Oh stop it – you know you’ve had similar thoughts too. In fact, when I turned the microscope on myself I wondered – could I enhance my appeal by adding some big false Miss Piggy eyelashes – HIYA! Let’s not stop at Muppets – let’s get right into Sesame street too. That reminds me of a couple I know who remind me exactly of Bert and Ernie….(they shall remain nameless).

Anyway, to prove I’m not the first to make this association, check out what the folks at 416film.com did to bring the Jim Henson’s world a little closer to ours:


Bad Motherfozzie.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Dress you up in one-piece love

The darling Rach pointed out THIS fabulous article to me on dresses going out of style (question mark). It is witty and hilarious and *gasp* scary about the fate of the most versatile item of a women's closet.

Some of my older readers might remember when I posted about my love of a good skirt, but as I move into my more mature, adult stage of life, I've come to appreciate the longevity of a simple dress. Not only is it more bang for your buck, but you can get one for every body ailment you could possibly think of pre-7AM. Bloated mid-section from too many white wines? The tee shirt dress avec pockets. Something comfortable, but thigh-hiding and flattering at the same time? The wrap dress. When co-workers see you in a dress they think "she made an effort" or possibly "she means business" or even "is the dress meant to hide the lack of attention she's paid to her hair?" All valid points, and testimonies on why the dress is the perfect choice for any occasion. The other girl's night, I opted for a dress instead of my go-to black top and skinny jean, and was pleasantly surprised to see that all the other girls were in non-form-fitting dresses as well! Instant partytime.

In conclusion, if you're looking for a way to spice up your wardrobe, become more respected in the workplace or merely escape the constrictions of a waistline, dresses are the way to go.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles;

Last night I had a terrible dream. I was back at my old job, wearing a school uniform. EEEEkkkkk! Of course this means I was back in Australia and that was very unsettling. I love her far horizons, I love her jeweled sea, her beauty and her terror, the wide brown land for me. But not for me right now. I’m all about NYC. So in my dream I was counting my pennies and wondering how I could afford a plane ticket back to good ol’ New York. Silly me. When I woke up I realized I am in NYC and I should be counting my pennies to see how I can afford some of these wonderful Aussie treats while I’m here:

Vegemite – the most comforting taste one can have in the morning when accompanied by lots of butter on toast. Trust me I’m a doctor. For all good Aussie edibles in Manhattan try http://www.tuckshopnyc.com/

Pavlova – ‘Pav’ once you’re familiar. The Kiwis try to claim it as theirs, but we let them have Russel Crowe instead (suckers!). Strawberries, whipped cream and passionfruit on top will positively curl your toes. In a good way. Oh, and no calories – it’s made of air. Truly. http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/

Nudie – not here yet, but what the heck, you know you’re curious: http://www.nudie.com.au/

Mozi – superb little Melbourne Brand and they will ship to the USA. http://www.mozi.com.au/

Dinosaur Designs – Mad jewelry and just about anything else you can imagine made cleverly out of resin. They have a local store in SoHo. http://www.dinosaurdesigns.com.au/

Alice McCall – cute and sassy and stocked downtown at Elizabeth Charles http://www.elizabeth-charles.com/index.html

Katie Hosking: hot-to-trot Melbourne designer. She ships OS baby. http://www.katiehosking.com.au/

Remember: No one really drinks Fosters. It's make-believe like Duff.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Market to Boro Market

Hi Earthlings! It's Harpy Rhoda coming to you live from my couch Brooklyn. Today we have a special treat for you as Libbette joined me and some of our other Brooklyn-based skirts for the Brooklyn Bazaar Flea Market in Ft Greene. Not only did we see our famous lady stylist at brunch before, proving that we are totally on the cutting edge of trendsetting, but the white wine refreshments warmed my heart almost as much as these chillens selling organic marshmallows: and that's really the face of Brooklyn right there, is it not?

First off, it is a miracle I made it out of there alive as most vendors accept all major credit cards. I'm still convinced, however, that once you find that one perfect idea you will be set for life (talking rockets anyone?). Like there were these antique locks to wear as a necklace, keychain, gym locker locker from Bon Bon Oiseau that you can see HERE in all their entirety.

Next up are some wafels and dinges. Did you know there is an actual WAFFLE TRUCK that drives around Manhattan and Brooklyn cooking up belgian waffles with all the toppings. You did not know. That is what I am here for. Call 1-866-429-7329 and thank me later.

While we're talking about maximum delicacies, feast your hearts on these Brooklyn themed cookies. The actual cookie is soft and yummy (bonus: samples) and if you receive these in the mail from me as a gift in the near future, pretend to be surprised.

The cutest screenprinting from Lotta Jansdotter a Brooklyn artist by way of California. Those little plastic tennis racquets keychains you had when you were 8 from Junk Prints. And some beautiful BEAUTIFUL tres beautiful
jew-els your eyes have ever seen. (don't ask me why we're horizontal here, I'm a shopper not an IT extrodinare) From Gabriela de la Vega, sparkly gems that we agreed I would definitely buy once I acquired my life's wealth, most likely as I near my 80's.

All in all, I would highly recommend a loop around the flea market, if nothing else for the free samples. Possibly with a glass of white wine and some granola in hand. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Sunday chicken to carve and some Antiques Roadshow to catch up on.

Smooches, The Mary and The Rhoda

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Pimp my closet.

So you may be familiar with my plight. It’s a New York girls’ ongoing quest to get a few extra inches out of her apartment to house her ever-growing (I really must put some things on eBay) wardrobe.

Tall, skim, one pump, low-foam, caramel macchiato in hand, I was yearning this morning, ironically, to simplify my life. I literally swooned at the sight of The Container Store looming up ahead on Lex. I forgot it was there! This store is a Saturday morning shopper’s oasis…never mind Bloomingdales on the next block and her womanly wiles.

Now, I don’t care if you’re not inherently handy, this is a girl’s hardware store. Home Depot with ribbons and a natty pink hammer. There is nothing you could want to store that this place can’t help contain. And no Gnarps and Luftigs like Ikea (although I missed the Hotdogs and Meatballs). Everything is beautifully simple and clearly marked and gosh darnit if the staff aren’t pleasant and helpful too.

Holla Candy Spelling - I know where you got the idea for your gift wrapping room now. Did you know you can get an umbrella the size of a mobile phone? How about a stopwatch you put on your, let’s say meatballs (I’m sorry I dissed you Ikea) in the fridge, that reminds you when their time is up? Yes my friend TCS has it.

Well. I’m in organized heaven. Some 3M Mounting Tape, a High Performance Bra Bag, a Cable Turtle and an 8 compartment Hanging Sweater Bag later I have at least another room in this studio apartment now.

And yes, perhaps I’ll have a decaf next Saturday.

Next week: The lazy girl's guide to culling your hoarded clothes and papers. AKA – Isn’t there someone you can pay to do that?